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Some Candy Talking – 2


   Sun dive.

   The two little words echoed around as they entered into the consciousness of the mind. They reverberated noiselessly against the few thoughts that were already there, pushing them aside and away. What does it all mean? Did it mean anything at all or was it just another pale reflection in the passing of time. Pointless and wasteful. Unnecessary. Something else to ignore. Discard - as if it had never even really existed at all. Dismissed. Oh, why bother. Why even try – there is certainly no point, no edge to the blade, and it is not as if anyone ever cares.

   Movement. The chase. Faster. Hunted. Lost and found and lost again. Faster still … and yet, a life flashes before those eyes so slowly looking down – it is like a party, it is, it looks so good – I wish that I had been invited. Not yet, regard the scene, it is a wake and I am almost asleep. Am I still dreaming? Nevermind. Keep moving.

   And again, losing hope, he traces over both the past and the future. The repeated discovery finds that they are both buried together, like the mingling of ashes. It is nothing new. It is nothing. All is nothing – but wait, the single moment is everything however, it also feels like nothing. All is nothing. An emptiness as everything before and everything beyond have all been clawed and sucked away, even the sickening bitterness. Hollow. The word is devoid and the shell so fragile. The slightest and most gentle touch will cause it to shiver and break into a multitude of isolated fragments. Apart. Alone. At peace in pieces. Resting.

   Silence. Don’t speak. Do not even think. If you don’t speak for long enough they will all forget that you are even there. Non-existent, maybe even existless. Walk on … in silence. But one can still hear the screaming – walk on – is it real or is it just in your head. Walk on. No. Stop and listen. Yes, it is still there. Walk on. Keep moving to keep stable. Walk on. But, no, you stopped, stood still and now you hear the truth. Hear the screams, the anguished cries that are filled with unending despair. Heartbreaking. The screaming goes on and on. I just can’t bear it any longer – make it stop – but what will happen if I do stop screaming. What will be next? What, indeed.

   Look into the light. Look deeper. See everything that you ever wanted. Yes. Look right into the light and see the sense of beauty and the taste. The absolute wonder. He is there (point 72) but the waiting is so unbearable (point 8). It hurts. So very badly. But we must wait. Just wait and shed a tear and hold on … hold the line … the moment … and wait …

   Again, it is said – nay, declared – sun dive. Don’t you dare to look into the light. The single element of falling. Moving. Rushing. Headlong. That infinite time – the single moment when there is no control, the complete and total loss of any ability to control events … utterly … how long is that moment, how high is the ledge. To fall from grace is merely divine – to just fall is everything – make it last, forever. Please.