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Some Candy Talking – 5


   What are you going to do when …

Crushed by that huge wave of mortality as it crashes down so violently upon your silly little lives … pause for breath … I think I saw, I know it all. I thought I heard, I know it all. It is dark. I see it beaten down, the silvery swishes of the supple bamboo cane, cowed, beaten, broken, night clubbing. Beaten by the stick, ever so large, so what … so large that they would never be able to look me in the face again. Whatever. Singing, laughing, crying – control those emotions – fix the images on your face until the mask can show no sign of anything that it may choose to hide inside. It is the best of everything so I look up, it is always just a little scary. Those scars that heal, the stars that shine but the weeping wounds will not. They bleed. I take you over. Leading everything like a dead weight, dragging you down – so strange, so try to re-arrange and this stranger is here again today. Nothing is real and, yes, I know it all, I’ve got it all. Choose.

   What are you going to do when …

Memory blurs the stars, unreal images come and some go, take me back. Tomorrow is like yesterday and, yet, we can only look forward to the past. Is it gone or is it forgotten. Never. It is always there and it is lived every bloody day. Live for today, in stages, one step is just the same as the last – up or down – it takes us away. Some primitive thing. Far away. Rescue me.

   What are you going to do when …

Follow. Follow. That leader of men. Give heed to them as they are all that there is to give. I believe in the dance, see it, believe it, believe in that mystery movement and you still wonder why. The prosthetic touch, caressing. See it all brutally gunned down in front of your melting face, the slow motion horrors of yet another metal penetration … shock, shock, horror, horror … and then, inevitably, as the world comes crashing down you smile, yes, there is that little bounce as it hits the ground. Those subtle touches – so hard and fast. Reality sure does bite with some jagged little teeth. Time is in limbo, like some trap, it is ticking away but the hand never moves, it is not real – like death – and we circle and we circle … I do it all, I do it everyday … I really don’t understand … and now, coming in fast, it just smacks you in the face. No respect. Just silence. The cut direct.

   What are you going to do when …

Stockholm is calling – what do the girls say? Pretty in pink but he’s wearing those heels again. What do the girls say? You know their names, you’ve seen them all and these little soldiers – he looks too good, oh yeah, if only in this one and that skirt. Be mine. Camouflaged feelings, tall and proud, soldiers - that skirt is never too short, so listen to the girls. Believe what you like, believe in the truth, believe in me because you don’t know nothing. Welcome to the world, it is still turning, it is still tearing holes through me … we are all welcome but the eyes are shut and the door is locked. Nothing gets in and I make damn sure that nothing ever gets out. It is still evolving, a halo shining, it is the eclipse and we do not like what we see, do we?

   What are you going to do when …

Letting go.

I’m out of here.

   What are you going to do when …

I know it all. Here it comes. Taking all of me, faking it. It’s coming in, in over you.

   What are you going to do when …

We want to hear you cry, no one can see, let go and scream, it is alright, no one is here. We are all alone and we are not afraid. The downbeat chord continues to ring on through these endless voids. We count in screams. Ready. On the scream, that blinding light, you jump … you jump with me. I’m calling. Some lead and we will always follow. So jump with me. Take my hand … you trust me now … you understand … jump with me …

                                                  What are you going to do?