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Some Candy Talking  -  8

Save nothing for the swim back.

Echoes of sirens calling fall through the gentle breeze – lead us on, lead us on, drive us to the barren rocks where no lifeguard can prevail. Cast adrift we struggle against the tide as it pushes us back towards the shore – strike out again for the deep waters and still you worry and still you carry the weight that is always dragging you down. Those subtle shades of oblivion are not on the charts … no future, no future … and it is you that I am waiting for. Spin the palette and paint your life in pastel tones as the sirens cry “No future” – but rainbows arch across the sky, weakening as a cold grey rain washes just a little heavier than vermillion.

A numbness drifts across your mind, a weakness eases through your life, the paralysis comes so heavy with each ebbing wave. You would like to wonder how it all came to this but there is no point.

Aim for the light at the end of the highway. The world is out there like some message on the side of a newly born packet of fags. So put your life on hold as the foreign lighter won’t light and the round one slips so silently into your slowly opening mouth. Give up and forget to breathe. There is no right or wrong – who said that – the truth is what you want to believe, pass us by. Do not falter, be strong, go full speed ahead with four masts, three funnels and a couple of whores … sorry, the speed of the candy rush, I meant oars. Life is such a rich tapestry of colours, only give it full throttle and the tears roll as the winds blow, beating hard against your face and slowly you realise that there is no control, there is no brake, there is no hope. We are laughing again. So, headlong you rush, the smile is fixed and washed away and the horizon is just the edge and that light is as false as any new dawn. Fade, and like some storm tossed wreckage, just forget. Closer and closer, the fall is always there – you watch I fall – and time dilates like some drug crazed transvestite with too much lippy – why bother – the eternal live the final moment endlessly immortal.

Sink beneath the waves, hold the rock, be passive and allow it all to happen. Gripped so tight and never let them know. Calm in the ganzfeld moment. Senselessly still. Watch me as I fall. Beating heart be still … Helpless … Endless … Timeless … There is no right or wrong. There is still no point. A darkness pervades across your mind. So slowly it lasts forever, so slowly, so silent, there is no room to scream. Let nothing intrude. Hold the horror, hold it tight, it will remain. There is no point and whatever will be, it makes no difference. It just makes no fucking difference.

The lifeguards hold you under.

Still, if this is life … then, it’s hard to believe.

The lifeguard holds you under.

This guy will take you by the hand. This guy will let you drown. This guy is all there is, so say goodbye … and, yes it hurts. It hurts the ones you loved the most as the ever cold water washes your breath away, swallow … you might feel you ought to fight … but no, don’t go there … just relax … let it drift … remain calm … let it go, and swallow.

So much for the rescue – Clear!